AHH I have less than a week to go until showcase!!

And man oh man I am LOSING MY MIND!!!

  1. It’s starting to get to the point that the lines are there and now my scene partner and I can just have some fun with it
  2. There are a couple parts to the scene that the lines just aren’t coming  until I have fun with it and get really into it ( AS IF THAT’S NOT THE MOST CONFUSING THING IN THE WORLD)
  3.  It’s hard to get into it when I’m afraid I don’t know my lines!!

What I’m trying to say people is that my rehearsal kinda blew up in my face. And I’m frustrated

But, in the spirit of being gentle with myself- I was given really helpful feedback on how to ” get more into it” AND I’M THANKFUL FOR IT.

Sometimes getting directed to do something or try something  -especially when it’s related to a certain scenario or scene-  can feel  annoying. It can feel almost like they don’t trust me that I can ( get mad or scream or be sexy and flirt, etc).  But when something ain’t working, it ain’t working.

But frankly the help is really valuable.

Today I found myself in a mix of thoughts and emotions after class

including but not limited to

” I bet ____ would do this scene better than me and I bet they think she’d do it better than me too” this scene sucks ,

“this scene sucks”

” Why couldn’t I get into?

” More like why didn’t you just  hold your lines like your scene partner – ITS A REHEARSAL!”

” at least I know what I need to do for next time”

“now that i think about it that wasn’t really working in other rehearsals, damn now I have a  roadmap to something better”

and  I’m just really glad I stuck with that- being thankful.

Happy American Thanksgiving! Wish me luck this week!!