I rang in the new year working actually. Helping cater at a new years wedding

ACTUALLY, more specifically,  I spent the majority of the evening wishing I was behind the bar, as  was initially promised to me, disgruntedly waiting tables… while the owners son who was SUPPOSED to be on catering duty with me just flirted with the bartender who was my replacement. Oh man. I was reeling. To make matters worse this new bartender was also allowed to wear a cute little new years outfit and have her hair nice since she wasn’t food handling , while I was walking around feeling like a troll. I stuffed my face with the appetizers while I did pass- arounds.

Needless to say, it wasn’t the glamorous new years eve countdown I’d hoped. I MEAN C’MON I COULDNT EVEN DRINK. AND WHERE WERE THE CUTE GUYS? OR AT LEAST A FAMILIAR FACE?

I was over it.

 

Someone along the night I was picking up glasses when a wedding guest just straight up turned to me and said ” you’re not having fun are you?” Busted.

My point is this: As disgruntled about my situation as I am. The wedding is not about me. nothing about this event was about how I’m feeling. it is about the bride and her wedding and my sourpuss face isn’t making it better.

New years eve is really interesting because there are so many pressures for having a good one. Or maybe its just the awareness that there is the potential for this to be “it”- that prom like hope of something big… Kind of like how there can be in acting.As I enter a 2017 where I hope to join the cast of tv shows and films I am JOINING A CAST. I am not looking to be celebrated or catered to.

So how do we still have big drams and hopes while letting go of that expectation?

I’m a millennial- the hell if I know. But I do know that I definitely need to be able to

a)  express myself and my voice just enough that i can show up and enjoy the work – ie ” hey owner’s son can ya help me out here or  hey boss couldn’t help but notice you don’t have me bartending.. what’s that about?”

and

b) Be grateful for the opportunity  —  and not just the money either, as tempting as that can be sometimes.  It’s too fixed. THERE IS NOTHING TO BE GAINED HERE EXCEPT MONEY is not a good enough way of living your life.. Real appreciation comes from the unexpected too!!  People, conversations, there is always something to be learned

AND  I can’t have one without the other. Forcing myself to be grateful for an experience where I keep my mouth shut isn’t helpful just like saying what I think ll the time without consideration.

I am excited at what this lesson is preparing me for. 2017 whatcha got for me?