SO tonight I am sitting at home despite my desire to go to class- I left home early because it was snowing- only for it to STOP snowing. But I mean I was also feeling tired at work, so felt ah well I can just go home and nap.
I want to be able to start treating this like I’m a high-level performer again. Like back when I was an athlete.
Recently after my concussion I started going to a new chiropractor and he told me I needed to begin really exercising again… to which i was vaguely offended, but the point was clear.. STOP panicking or talking about doing it and start DOING the damn thing.
Now, I know that being an actor is more than just being in class. DUH. And I mean it’s not about making the right decision all the time and never being frustrated or inconvenienced EVER. in the same way it’s not about being the prettiest, most athletic, most photogenic, smartest ….
but these are also pressures the world fits on us, and acting class can be a nice refuge from it. I like feeling respected for my work, but also appreciated for my opinions, and able to say what’s going on in my life with power and grit.
All the world wants is for me to be me.
The best Angela I can be. And sometimes that can be tricky to unravel. Sometimes even particularly in acting class- I mean isn’t the teacher supposed to find this in me? Isn’t that why I’m there trying to learn or whatever? Or I play the role of an ingenue because I don’t want to be that person that seems desperate like I WANT YOU TO THINK IM TALENTED AND SUCCESSFUL. so I play hard to get instead.
Maybe I’m applying caution too liberally in the way I show up.
Suddenly this snow thing doesnt seem so bad after all..