So when we last left off I was working on getting specific.
Lots happened since then I will get into it.
I am sitting here on really, a non specific, lazy sunday morning., one where I’m just kind of trying to navigate what to do with my day.. ‘
There’s this article I’m sure you all have read that says if something isn’t a fuck yes than it’s a no.
I don’t know if I necesarrily buy the koolaid on that- I mean in my day to day- I make purchases all the time that aren’t ” fuck yes’s? .. more like” I should probably get this razor or I’m gonna be a hairy piece of garbage” , but I’ve been thinking about the sentiment lately.
In the sitatuions where my self doubt creeeps up and I’m fencesitting on doing something/ doing what I think i should do/ wishing something would make it easier, I think I something wonder if it’s not a fuck no, if then it should be a yes… and if i don’t act on it, then i missed an oppurtunity.
Case in point. An invitation to see some old friends after a track meet yesterday. Most of them were still competiting and I felt my invitation was more a numbers thing to get people out to the actual track meet , but it would have been great to see them and I mean WHAT ELSE AM I GOING TO DO?
I didn’t go though, instead choosing to workout, watch the latest on netflix ( ok, and some older stuff on there too- leave me alone!) ,had a friend read some lines with me for an audition I have this week, and take a bath.
But when it comes down to the nitty gritty, I have doubts on what exactly I am standing for.
Certainly not possibilities, potential, living in curiosity .. all the things I value….
But then I have another strongerfeeling deeper down. That maybe I’m committing to have such a narrow perspective on places where my possibilities / curiosity can live based only on the opportunities that I am seeing.
And damn. If that’s doesn’t sum up my generation I don’t know what does.
Because truthfully my last couple of weeks have all been about taking opportunities. I’ve seen friends shows, gone out to dinner with old friends, even went to a friend’s baby shower, who I haven’t seen in ages.
It’s been invigorating, and reaffirming, and peaceful. TOO PEACEFUL? Probably.( I sure have been meditating a lot that’s for sure!) But i am so eager to shoot down this lifestyle right now.
In short friends I have been learning to be patient in all areas of my life and it is has NOT been easy. But one things at a time. And in that spirit, up next, I have an audition for a play I have been waiting the last few months to be able to audition for.. I couldn’t be more excited!!
Wish me luck!