Life is being particularly interesting and frustrating lately.
This week I auditioned for the first time in a while for a play ( which I would absolutely loveeeee to get!) .. I don’t know how clear I’ve been on this but I have hadn’t had a heck of a lot of acitivity acting wise since my concussion.
Just after I auditioned I got two submission requests for auditions.
The universe moves in mysterious ways my friends. Putting one step forward into my dreams by myself opened up these other possibilities!
Truthfully I am having a hard time balancing my expectations with this though. Because as awesome as things are going it also kind of seems like there are parts of my life that are kind of falling apart right now, and it’s hard not to feel like ” whatever, I have acting so I don’t need this.” In my defence- up to a certain point it may not be a particularly bad thing. I mean that’s the point of the extracurricular isn’t it?
But nothing is being addressed is the problem, because I can live off in fairly land. And acting becomes this escape that I have to use to propel myself to a better life instead of something I enjoy, AND enjoy getting better at.
I am not sure how much of this I’m necessarily doing, but I will admit that it unsettles me to think I may be running from taking action and that I might acutally be hiding myself in dreams.
Sometimes there isn’t a good action to take- take waiting to hear if I’m in the play for instance- but I guess there are a bad ones. and Sometimes it’s just bringing awareness to those poor habits so we can recorrect.