So today while avoiding memorizing my scene I came across news that my  old neighbour just had a baby! AHH so exciting.

But ok, so  if I’m being honeset, I am so jealous of her older sister and her family I can’t stand it and I got sucked down this hate spiral of seeing her one post on my friends wall, in like  a 12 min facebook journey of:

  1. Wow look how photogenic they are
  2. Why couldnt i have been born that pretty?
  3. They went on vacation to ____; why can’t i go there?
  4. No fair they go on so many vacations what the fuck
  5. Look how happy they are

Bleh.  These are the distractions that are holding me back

I’d say from doing the work like memorizing the lines… but I have a feeling its from life..

 

 

Comment from the following week:

Oh LORD does this ring true. Argh its like

I hate this. Its a slow death- I remember looking at all the photos of  my friends in university, constantly looking at their pictures etc for validation, hoping they were looking at mine; it’s horrible. It’s all just conjecture, not someone’s actual life.  It feels aweful to be so invested in others lives while also feeling they aren’t really invested in my own. I remember this. Comparisons ( and for that matter simple knowledge of the person) can  keep us from reaching out though – keep us from remaining friends with those who are at different or similar points in life. is a dangerously isolating pastime.