So today while avoiding memorizing my scene I came across news that my old neighbour just had a baby! AHH so exciting.
But ok, so if I’m being honeset, I am so jealous of her older sister and her family I can’t stand it and I got sucked down this hate spiral of seeing her one post on my friends wall, in like a 12 min facebook journey of:
- Wow look how photogenic they are
- Why couldnt i have been born that pretty?
- They went on vacation to ____; why can’t i go there?
- No fair they go on so many vacations what the fuck
- Look how happy they are
Bleh. These are the distractions that are holding me back
I’d say from doing the work like memorizing the lines… but I have a feeling its from life..
Comment from the following week:
Oh LORD does this ring true. Argh its like
I hate this. Its a slow death- I remember looking at all the photos of my friends in university, constantly looking at their pictures etc for validation, hoping they were looking at mine; it’s horrible. It’s all just conjecture, not someone’s actual life. It feels aweful to be so invested in others lives while also feeling they aren’t really invested in my own. I remember this. Comparisons ( and for that matter simple knowledge of the person) can keep us from reaching out though – keep us from remaining friends with those who are at different or similar points in life. is a dangerously isolating pastime.